I would like to start of this post by thanking each and every one of you for being the amazing people you are. :) I was thinking, Jesus is like the perfect flashlight. Whenever we need light to shine into our dark places, He's there, ready to light our paths and guide us, maybe that's more like a lighthouse, haha. You get my point. I have a lot of searching within my heart to do. I have a lot of praying to do. I don't care if I want this or not, if God wants it for my life, that's good enough for me. Just sayin. I have so many questions to answer. Am I ready? Do I want it badly enough? Am I willing to take huge steps out of my comfort zone? Honestly, I don't know the answers to any of these questions yet, but I will be searhing for them, yes I will.
Seeing Andy last night saddened me alot. It broke my heart to see him the way he was. I really hope doing this will be really good for him. I shall be prayin. Blah, I hate money. I hate needing money. Where did the good ole barter systems go? Jeesh.
Blerghhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Dance Dance
Lately, whenever I want to blog, I usually come on here not knowing what I'm going to blog about. So I am going to just write whatever comes to mind. And right now, I am hoping run through goes awesome. I've seen the hard work that's been put into this dance and the choreographer deserves a great run through. :) So, me and the beeee-utiful Shonda are doing laundry. All the dryers in Waterbury are occupied. So we brought our laundry to Scales andwe're doing it there :D It'll be ready in about 45-50 minutes.
Argh. I am not going to give in to these thoughts. Sometimes, I just can't trust myself. Sometimes, I wish my heart and my mind would be on the same track. And that's all I have to say on that.
Youtube is going to be the death of my average grades, haha. I just want to listen to all the related videos. I really want the song, Overcome by Free Chapel, but I can't find it on Youtube :( So I guess I'll have to settle for other amazing worship songs.
So there's this wonderful girl, my Angelface, who wrote a blog about our words and how the ycan affect people. I realized I need to work on what I let come out of my mouth. Because I know it's not always edifying, it's just word vomit. My words need to be filled with love and encouragement, not judgement and negativity. No way, Jose. I don't want to be known as one of those people who always has something bad to say about someone else, no I don't. So yeah.
Phew, my roomie is here. I need her to be here. I love that girl. She's the best roomie ever, no joke. We're perfect for each other. I'm going to miss her alot next year, but we'll see each other at work and stuff, so it won't be too bad.
I think my laundry is going to be ready soon. Bye bye bye.
Argh. I am not going to give in to these thoughts. Sometimes, I just can't trust myself. Sometimes, I wish my heart and my mind would be on the same track. And that's all I have to say on that.
Youtube is going to be the death of my average grades, haha. I just want to listen to all the related videos. I really want the song, Overcome by Free Chapel, but I can't find it on Youtube :( So I guess I'll have to settle for other amazing worship songs.
So there's this wonderful girl, my Angelface, who wrote a blog about our words and how the ycan affect people. I realized I need to work on what I let come out of my mouth. Because I know it's not always edifying, it's just word vomit. My words need to be filled with love and encouragement, not judgement and negativity. No way, Jose. I don't want to be known as one of those people who always has something bad to say about someone else, no I don't. So yeah.
Phew, my roomie is here. I need her to be here. I love that girl. She's the best roomie ever, no joke. We're perfect for each other. I'm going to miss her alot next year, but we'll see each other at work and stuff, so it won't be too bad.
I think my laundry is going to be ready soon. Bye bye bye.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Almost posted this without a title
Here I sit in the computer lab. This whole side is friends. The other side is forlorn and empty. Except Ryan, but he doesn't count. I could be doing homework, but I don't feel like it. I mean, it's not due til Friday, nothing like a little healthy procrastinating!
Today was weird. I felt sort of detached from everything and everyone. It was weird. Like, at lunch, I didn't want to be there. I just didn't feel like listening to petty, meaningless conversations about cartoons and Shark 1 and Shark 2's drama with their crew. So I went down to the lake for a little while. It was nice, I listened to worship music on my Ipod and marveled at God's beautiful creation. Then I went to my room and attempted a nap, but I couldn't fall asleep, so I got up and went to my workstudy job. Then I went to dinner, wolfed some food down and went to Lakeside. This is turning out to be a boring post. How to make it interesting? Eh, whateva. I'm wearing two different shoes. One is not mine. Heeheehee. I like being sneaky.
Pastor Beaumont was so encouraging last night! Like seriously, he hit the nail right on the head. At least to me he did. It was pretty much everything I needed to hear. I don't want to fall into the slop or ope nsewer on the side of the road. I need the Word in my life. It's crucial. Time to put these words into action. Well, that's all I want to say at the moment. May the peace of the Lord be with you! :)
Today was weird. I felt sort of detached from everything and everyone. It was weird. Like, at lunch, I didn't want to be there. I just didn't feel like listening to petty, meaningless conversations about cartoons and Shark 1 and Shark 2's drama with their crew. So I went down to the lake for a little while. It was nice, I listened to worship music on my Ipod and marveled at God's beautiful creation. Then I went to my room and attempted a nap, but I couldn't fall asleep, so I got up and went to my workstudy job. Then I went to dinner, wolfed some food down and went to Lakeside. This is turning out to be a boring post. How to make it interesting? Eh, whateva. I'm wearing two different shoes. One is not mine. Heeheehee. I like being sneaky.
Pastor Beaumont was so encouraging last night! Like seriously, he hit the nail right on the head. At least to me he did. It was pretty much everything I needed to hear. I don't want to fall into the slop or ope nsewer on the side of the road. I need the Word in my life. It's crucial. Time to put these words into action. Well, that's all I want to say at the moment. May the peace of the Lord be with you! :)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Is there a such thing as being too Christian?
I keep coming on here, with an idea of what I want to write about. But for some reason, I keep forgetting! I'll just keep typing and see where it goes. So I'm reading this book, called "The Unlikely Disciple:A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University." I really really like it. Mainly because the author, Kevin Roose, didn't write it to mock Christianity or anything, he decided to try a semester at Liberty University mainly out of curiosity of what a Christian college is like. Now I'm Christian and I don't think I'd ever go to this college. The rules are really strict like the only PDA there can be is holding hands and hugging and the hug can't last more than 3 seconds. The dorms are unisex, and there is no going into the opposite sex's dorm. They are not allowed to watch R-Rated movies, and then of course, the obvious no sex, drugs or alcohol. The funny thing is most students there like the rules and feel like it's a necessary part of their lives. I agree that rules are important, but some of those are a tad too strict, in my opinion. Also, these students are surrounded by Christians and there are no secular students. My thing with that is they are being sheltered and don't get a taste of the "real world" where not everyone loves Jesus. And there are much fewer chances to reach out to people, because there is no one there who needs to be reached out to. So yeah, I think I will stick with good ol' Oswego.
Another thing about that college is that a lot of the students are there to find "the One." Like they get paniky if by their last year, they haven't found a possible candidate. I don't like that. Which leads me to my next topic. Girls who plan their wedding and such before God has even provided the groom. I know there are some girls who have their whole wedding planned out and are only waiting for the man God gives them. I just think it's not right, ya know? It's just sketchy? I don't know what the right term is here.
Sometimes I wish I lived in Scales. Although I'm also glad to live in Waterbury, because everyone lives in Scales and it's good to be different. I don't like however, when I feel like a burden. I don't like when people argue over who's going to sign me in because no one wants to. Or when people get annoyed if I ask them to let me in the side door. Blah. Maybe I'll just start staying in Waterbury from now on. Then no one has to worry about signing me in or sneaking me in or whatever. But I can't do that. It's hard for me to stay away, haha.
Time for me to go to my workstudy job. Yay? Nope. Adios.
Another thing about that college is that a lot of the students are there to find "the One." Like they get paniky if by their last year, they haven't found a possible candidate. I don't like that. Which leads me to my next topic. Girls who plan their wedding and such before God has even provided the groom. I know there are some girls who have their whole wedding planned out and are only waiting for the man God gives them. I just think it's not right, ya know? It's just sketchy? I don't know what the right term is here.
Sometimes I wish I lived in Scales. Although I'm also glad to live in Waterbury, because everyone lives in Scales and it's good to be different. I don't like however, when I feel like a burden. I don't like when people argue over who's going to sign me in because no one wants to. Or when people get annoyed if I ask them to let me in the side door. Blah. Maybe I'll just start staying in Waterbury from now on. Then no one has to worry about signing me in or sneaking me in or whatever. But I can't do that. It's hard for me to stay away, haha.
Time for me to go to my workstudy job. Yay? Nope. Adios.
Friday, March 19, 2010
My kitty is sitting on our washer
We are needy people. We need friends to support and encourage us. We need our families, no matter how crazy and messed up they seem. We need God. We need air to breathe. We need a roof over our heads. I was not liking the idea of sleeping on a cot for a week because my bed was given to my youngest sister. I was complaining about it. Then I realized I have a bed to sleep on. There are people in this world who are stuck sleeping in alleys and under bridges and other very uncomfortable, unsafe places. So I really don't have a right to complain at all.
Last night, I got really sad. I was talking to someone and realized how comfortable I've become in this unexcitedness. It made me so sad that I started crying. Why do I let this happen? Why does it seem like some of us have more dry seasons than others? Why does it seem like those dry seasons last longer than the undry seasons? Like an undry season for me lasts about a month, an undry season can last like 2 or 3 months. It's kind of scary. I don't want to be comfortable when this happens. I want to be in so much discomfort, it's unbearable.
I'm feeling lazy today. My dad, on the other hand, is in a cleaning mood, meaning I get to do lots of housework today! Bleh. We were watching Full House yesterday and he said I remind him of DJ Tanner. I completely agree with him. Whenever I watch it, I remind myself of DJ Tanner. And my dad, well he reimnds me of Danny Tanner. I get annoyed with my older sister. All of her free time is spent on Zoosk, a facebook dating thing. She just needs to get off the computer and go get a real social life. Because a cyber social life really isn't a life at all. I've been so bored this past week. And all I can think is this is not the life I want when I'm older. I want it to be fun and exciting, not spent at home, always watching tv or on the computer. That's how my family spends most of their free time and it saddens me. They could be living for so much more. I could go on and on. But what's the use? Sitting here writing about isn't going to change anything.
I guess I am going to go pick giraffes' noses now. Should be fun! Toodles.
Last night, I got really sad. I was talking to someone and realized how comfortable I've become in this unexcitedness. It made me so sad that I started crying. Why do I let this happen? Why does it seem like some of us have more dry seasons than others? Why does it seem like those dry seasons last longer than the undry seasons? Like an undry season for me lasts about a month, an undry season can last like 2 or 3 months. It's kind of scary. I don't want to be comfortable when this happens. I want to be in so much discomfort, it's unbearable.
I'm feeling lazy today. My dad, on the other hand, is in a cleaning mood, meaning I get to do lots of housework today! Bleh. We were watching Full House yesterday and he said I remind him of DJ Tanner. I completely agree with him. Whenever I watch it, I remind myself of DJ Tanner. And my dad, well he reimnds me of Danny Tanner. I get annoyed with my older sister. All of her free time is spent on Zoosk, a facebook dating thing. She just needs to get off the computer and go get a real social life. Because a cyber social life really isn't a life at all. I've been so bored this past week. And all I can think is this is not the life I want when I'm older. I want it to be fun and exciting, not spent at home, always watching tv or on the computer. That's how my family spends most of their free time and it saddens me. They could be living for so much more. I could go on and on. But what's the use? Sitting here writing about isn't going to change anything.
I guess I am going to go pick giraffes' noses now. Should be fun! Toodles.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Overanalyzation
Why do I always say or do things I shouldn't? And why do I always agonize over what I said/did for a long time afterward? Wh yis it so much harder for me to forgive myself than it is to forgive others? I just don't understand.
Who was St Patrick Anyway?
I decided to be different and wear red today, instead of the traditional green. We usually go to my grandparents' (my grandma is Irish) and eat corned beef and boiled potatoes, carrots and cabbage. I avoid the cabbage, haha. But I don't know if we are doing that this year. Anyway, that's all I have to say on that.
I was thinking the other day, BASIC needs to do more community involvement things. On and off campus. Reaching out does not simply mean hang up a few posters here and there, and wear clothing that advertises it. We have to get out there and be active. Kind of like what Kdee does with her weekend sports. But we need more. We need to get our name out there. Get us some recognition (positive rec. of course, haha). We need to get people thinking, "Whoa, look at those Basic people. They seem pretty cool!" Maybe in the fall we could go rake some lawns, in winter, go shovel some sidewalks and driveways. In spring, go weed gardens and plant flowers. Ya know what I'm sayin?
Sometimes I wonder if people need me as much as I need them. I mean, I need my friends' encouragement and love and support. Do they need mine? Wait, of course they do. Never mind. I'm not explaining myself right. I'm not sure how to explain it. Just a random thought I had.
Well, I got me some Gilmore Girls to go watch. Happy St Patrick's Day! (whoever he is, haha).
I was thinking the other day, BASIC needs to do more community involvement things. On and off campus. Reaching out does not simply mean hang up a few posters here and there, and wear clothing that advertises it. We have to get out there and be active. Kind of like what Kdee does with her weekend sports. But we need more. We need to get our name out there. Get us some recognition (positive rec. of course, haha). We need to get people thinking, "Whoa, look at those Basic people. They seem pretty cool!" Maybe in the fall we could go rake some lawns, in winter, go shovel some sidewalks and driveways. In spring, go weed gardens and plant flowers. Ya know what I'm sayin?
Sometimes I wonder if people need me as much as I need them. I mean, I need my friends' encouragement and love and support. Do they need mine? Wait, of course they do. Never mind. I'm not explaining myself right. I'm not sure how to explain it. Just a random thought I had.
Well, I got me some Gilmore Girls to go watch. Happy St Patrick's Day! (whoever he is, haha).
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Patti-Ann
My youngest sister wants me to write a blog about her. I'm not going to make the whole thing about her but I will say I love her and she's 13 and she has a cell phone (A better one than mine I might add) and she is watching me type this. Anyway, I had so much fun this past weekend! I feel like I ate so much food though! Friday night, we went to Anthony and Annette's and had delicious cake and icecream, and we watched AFV and played this fun board game called Say Anything. We managed to keep them up until midnight :D And then we went back to campus, where there was much indecisiveness. After a lot of consideration and pondering, we stayed on campus. We were all up until 2ish. We woke up at 7:30 on Saturday and went to Ryan's house (we: Shonda, Kdee, Ryan and me) where we slept til like noon. We got ready and then went to Erin's wedding!!! It was so cool. I'm glad I got to be there for it. The happiness on her face made me super happy for her. I liked how it wasn't a showy, way too overdone wedding. It was nice and simple. Then we went to the hor's douvres reception where us starving people chomped on yummy cream puffs, eclairs and other delctable desserts. We got some pics taken with the beautiful bride. It was the first Christian wedding I've ever been to and it was really cool.
After te reception, we went to Nick's house, ate some Italian food and watched Sherlock Holmes, or slept, haha. Then it was back to Ryan's house where we took a long time getting to bed. Just a side note, I can be a gassy girl sometimes and instead of hiding it, I've decided to embrace it and let it be free! Sorry Kdee...:D This morning we went to Abundant Life, it was good but I was sooooo sleepy, as were a few others (you know who you are). Then it was good bye to gypsy and then we went to Nick's house for lunch. Afterward, we left for Rome. I was so nervous that something was going to happen on the road, but thank God everyone made it home safely! :) And here I am, typing this on one of ou desktops because the wireless isn't working on my computer, something about needing a security key/passkey. No one in my fmaily knows what it is. Argh. Oh well. Guess I won't be on the computer as often, maybe that's a good thing, haha.
My family gets to ride in a limo! Can you believe it?? One of my dad's newly reconnected relatives owns a limo company andthey boguht my parents tickets to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra in Massachusetts in April. So he's going to let them ride in one of his limo's. It's during the BASIC Conference actually. Lucky ducks.
Adios amigos.
After te reception, we went to Nick's house, ate some Italian food and watched Sherlock Holmes, or slept, haha. Then it was back to Ryan's house where we took a long time getting to bed. Just a side note, I can be a gassy girl sometimes and instead of hiding it, I've decided to embrace it and let it be free! Sorry Kdee...:D This morning we went to Abundant Life, it was good but I was sooooo sleepy, as were a few others (you know who you are). Then it was good bye to gypsy and then we went to Nick's house for lunch. Afterward, we left for Rome. I was so nervous that something was going to happen on the road, but thank God everyone made it home safely! :) And here I am, typing this on one of ou desktops because the wireless isn't working on my computer, something about needing a security key/passkey. No one in my fmaily knows what it is. Argh. Oh well. Guess I won't be on the computer as often, maybe that's a good thing, haha.
My family gets to ride in a limo! Can you believe it?? One of my dad's newly reconnected relatives owns a limo company andthey boguht my parents tickets to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra in Massachusetts in April. So he's going to let them ride in one of his limo's. It's during the BASIC Conference actually. Lucky ducks.
Adios amigos.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Gotta get that second opinion!
I loved listening to Nick Vujicic speak at BASIC last night, on the dvd, not in life. Seeing him in real life would be pretty sweet though, gotta admit. He was really inspiring, and I found myself tearing up a lot. What makes him more awesome than he already is is the facrt that he's from Simone's part of the world. I miss her.
The what was supposed to be a surprise party went really well. Not gonna lie, I was kind of nervous and then I was getting really nervous when the birthday boy wasn't showing up. But everything worked out and it was lots of fun! At least I think it was, haha. I guess there's just some people you can't surprise. They're just too smart for their own good! :D
I was reading "Crazy Love," today, during my Shakespeare class, haha, and my fave part was the stories of the radical Christians who really and truly live their lives by faith and prayer alone. I want to be one of those people. My heart burns with the desire to travel the world and minister to those in need. Like what Nick V does when he goes to like Cambodia and Indonesia. I think it would be so awesome. I really want to after I graduate, spend a couple years in underdeveloped countries doing what I can and serving God wherever I can. This passion is something I've never really felt before, and trhat's how I know it's all God and not me. I'm not the type to want to just go travel and leave everything behind. Not my cup of tea, but I just have this intense urge to do this. I'm not sure how to explain it. I so so so desperately want to change lives and touch lives and bring joy to people through Jesus. I want it so bad, but I don't know how to go about doing it.
I really feel like we'll never be back to where we once were. Sure, we can be friends, but to ever be as close as we were, I don't think it's going to happen. It's kind of sad, but hey, that's how life is.
On that note, I must go and be productive or something.
The what was supposed to be a surprise party went really well. Not gonna lie, I was kind of nervous and then I was getting really nervous when the birthday boy wasn't showing up. But everything worked out and it was lots of fun! At least I think it was, haha. I guess there's just some people you can't surprise. They're just too smart for their own good! :D
I was reading "Crazy Love," today, during my Shakespeare class, haha, and my fave part was the stories of the radical Christians who really and truly live their lives by faith and prayer alone. I want to be one of those people. My heart burns with the desire to travel the world and minister to those in need. Like what Nick V does when he goes to like Cambodia and Indonesia. I think it would be so awesome. I really want to after I graduate, spend a couple years in underdeveloped countries doing what I can and serving God wherever I can. This passion is something I've never really felt before, and trhat's how I know it's all God and not me. I'm not the type to want to just go travel and leave everything behind. Not my cup of tea, but I just have this intense urge to do this. I'm not sure how to explain it. I so so so desperately want to change lives and touch lives and bring joy to people through Jesus. I want it so bad, but I don't know how to go about doing it.
I really feel like we'll never be back to where we once were. Sure, we can be friends, but to ever be as close as we were, I don't think it's going to happen. It's kind of sad, but hey, that's how life is.
On that note, I must go and be productive or something.
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