Where does the line get drawn?

I'm the type of person who would do anything in my power to help a friend. One thing I do a lot is offer to help someone pay for something. At this point in my life, my funds are really low. Some friends decided to go to Syracuse for Indian food. I really wanted to go, but told them I was gonna go home because I didn't have the money.

Was it wrong of me to expect someone to offer to pay for me? Especially since I would be willing to do the same for any one of them if possible? Where does the line get drawn when it comes to something like this? Something about this just isn't sitting right with me. I think it's because I know that the people who went would offer to pay for another. Apparently, I'm not good enough? #Findingoutwhomyfriendsare.

What have you learned from this, Deanna? Never be willing to do something for someone that they're not willing to do for you. Got it.

Even the best fall down sometimes

I would like to introduce a friend. Her name is Priscilla and I met her on the NYC Trip. We ended up on the same team together, and then when our team leaders decided to use the buddy system, we became buddies for the rest of the trip. This girl is amazing and surprises me all the time. I had no idea she could beat box until our last night there. I had no idea how great she could sing and rap until that same night. I had no idea how similar her testimony is to mine until tonight.

I've never met someone who really and truly understood what I've struggled with. Until I randomly decided to tell Priscilla. I sent her a Facebook message and then she called me. We had a 20 minute heart to heart and she forced me to reveal things I've never told anyone, things that most people would not want to know. We are going to trust each other to hold the other accountable. I just felt so relieved knowing there is someone who knows exactly what I feel and understands more than anyone I've met and told my testimony to. It gives me hope and strength to finally confront my struggles and not just hide them away and hope they magically disappear. It's going to be hard, but it'll be worth it. It will!

As of late, I've had to re-evaluate a friendship. One thing I've learned from this whole thing is that honesty and time spent together are two of the most important aspects of any friendship/relationship. And, I've learned to never assume someone feels the same way about what stage of friendship you think you are in. I am so sorry things turned out the way they did, and that it caused so much hurt.

One of my biggest pet peeves is ignored texts. I absolutely hate it when I ask someone a question, and they completely ignore me. If you don't want to answer or talk, just say so. But don't leave me high and dry, confused, wondering if I did something wrong.

I lost my keys. Well, it was really only one key and then some rewards things and a few decorative keychains. I've looked in the places I would have lost them, but I can't find them. The one key is my housekey too. I'm hoping my landlord has a spare or something.

Happy Birthday?

Today is/was my birthday. I gotta admit, it was a weird one. I'm used to being surrounded by people all day on my birthday. But today, I was all by myself until Lisa and Tasha came over. They were here for a little while. Lisa is working on a card for me, and Tasha brought me a piece of Red Velvet cake. It was thoughtful. Then they left.

Me, Ryan, Kdee and Shannan went to the DiPierro's for dinner. We told them about the trip and stuff. Annette made me a chocolate cake. She gave me a huge piece to take home. Before Lisa and Tasha came over, I had eaten a piece of wedding cake from Zach and Becca's wedding. And then, when I got home, there was a cake Shonda had made for me. i am going to be so caked out by the end of the week, haha. What was funny about Shonda's cake was the fact that she had placed nailpolishes in it upside down :-D

Tonight, what I was afraid of happening happened. I learned that some people hung out with each other and didn't bother inviting me. I wouldn't have cared so much if it weren't my birthday. And I know Lisa nad Tasha did come over, but it still would've been nice to be invited. I feel like some people didn't really care that much that it was my birthday, as selfish as that may sound, it's how I felt. Negative feelings of the past rose up again. I was really feeling the one sidedness of a few friendships today. I was talking to a friend about this, and they made a good point. They told me that even though, it seemed like some people didn't want to hang out with me today, there are people who weren't able to see me today who would have loved to. That made me feel a little better.

Nick gave me a card with a nice little message in it and chocolate in the shape of a cow :D Isn't funny how the simplest of gifts can make a person the happiest???

I would love to write about NYC, but I need to get some sleep, and hopefully sleep off this blah mood. I'll save it for another time. Night!