It's gettin' hot in here....

First there were these things: We FINALLY have heat. Yay! I hate to sound unappreciative or whatever, but sometimes I feel like it gets a little stuffy in here. This is one thing I hate about having a higher body heat than most people. I get hot really fast. But I guess it's better than no heat. I also got an 800 dollar refund check in the mail, from my TAP Grant so it's completely free money! I just purchased an Ipod Touch online. I'm really excited!

Then there were other things. Every day, I hear Satan whispering lies into my heart. Like, "IF you don't do this, you won't ever be this way," or "If you do this, then this will happen and you'll be more liked." I know I can't listen to them, because that would just be foolish of me. And yet, this is something I think about at least once everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times. I'm fighting so hard to not listen to his empty promises that will lead me nowhere except a road I'd rather not go down. Sometimes, I'm filled with a self-hate and it's just not right. So, yeah.

I got nothin' else. Ciao!

Jesus makes for a great topic of conversation

I feel like it's been a weird couple of days. I don't even know how to explain it. Last night was interesting. And good. I really enjoyed the hangout. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much, and so hard. Good times, good times. It seems like it's been so long since we've just sat around and talked about Jesus for as long as we did. I've missed it. I really liked hearing peoples' testimonies again. Especially yours, Reggie and Ms. Cruz! Some things were brought up that have made me really thoughtful and contemplative. Like the whole gifts thing. I need to pray for God to shed light on what mine are. Sometimes, I get the feeling I have the gift of healing, but I've never actually tried utilizing it. Okay, I'm hospitable, but is it wrong or selfish of me to want more than that? I don't think so because they're gifts freely given to us by God. He's waiting for us to ask for more. He wants to bless us with them. He wants to give them to us in the hopes we'll use them to glorify His name and further His Kingdom.

Then there was the whole best friends convo. I just want someone to say they're afraid of losing me as a best, or even close, friend. And I'm not saying I'm jealous or anything because I'm really not. I think it is safe to say that I am afraid of losing touch with quite a few people. There are some friends I know I am going to lose and I can accept that, but there are others I'd rather not lose, ya know?

I don't know where to go with this. I'm not sure what kind of reactions something like this is going to cause. I know the reactions I don't want it to cause. That's all I am willing to say at this moment. What I want to say will be said to whomever it affects in due time.

Kapiesh? Kapiesh.

Bedtime???

I am SO tired, and I'm not really sure why. I mean, I was up at 6:15, but usually after my work shift, I'm much more awake. Today, though, I've been tired since I woke up. It took what little energy I have not to fall asleep in the two classes I had today. Weird.

In other news, I wish I was more excited for the Conference. I'm excited, but not to the same extent I usually am. I dunno. Maybe that'll change soon. Sometimes, I want to be a rebellious Christian, and do things completely unlike me. Sometimes, these things I know would be big mistakes and so I refrain from doing them. Am I the only one who has ever felt this way? I am also really tempted to make a very unwise financial decision regarding an Ipod touch. I found another one for 150. I want one SO bad, and this Friday, I will have enough to get one, but I should really save that money for rent. Ugh, what to do, what to do.

At Bible Study last night, we were talking about how sometimes God takes peoples' lives because He knows if He doesn't, they are going to turn completely away from Him. This is amazing to me, that God loves us so much and would rather us be in Heaven with Him forever than for us to continue living our lives, but without Him in them. He would rather cut our lives short so we have eternal life than let us live a long life, but not end up in the Kingdom. Wow. Just wow.

I failed my first Italian test. Yay. Go me. I have to do better next time, I have to! I will! It's definitely not a 12th grade Spanish class. This class makes that one seem like a breeze. Our professor even told us that one semester of Italian 101 is equal to 4 years of Italian in high school. Talk about intense.

I felt like blogging, I've been feeling it for awhile, and there ya have it. Arrivaderci!