Congrats to Me

Isn't today supposed to be a day where I feel special and happy? well, that's not what's happening. What's happening is I'm sitting on my bed, crying. Why? Because I didn't have my family here to make me feel special. I didn't walk, so that also tones down the specialness factor a lot. Everyone's attention was on the people in the gowns. They got gifts. Not me. I got a gift from Rocky's family, but that's it. I don't even know what to do right now. #feelingalone

Hindsight is 20/20

I don't like this new Blogger look. My college career ends on Saturday. My last final is tomorrow morning. Then it's into the "real world" I go. I'm nervous, yeah. Feel like I feel like I'm going nowhere in life. I can see and hear the judgement in people when they ask me what I'm doing, blah blah and I say I don't know. What makes it even worse is that even my family seems to have no hope for me. My parents aren't coming to my graduation because they don't like that I am probably going to do nothing with my degree. I just want them to be proud of me. IS that so much to ask for? I'm a disappointment to them and it hurts to know that. No, they haven't said it right off the bat, but I can easily tell. There's been so much damage. I'm beginning to feel it's too late to undo it. I'm so lost. I'm tired and weary. I've never felt so defeated in my life.