I love that song. It's such a beautiful love song we get to sing to our God. My favorite line is "You captivate our hearts." I long to be truly captivated by You. I want to be in awe of Your glory.
This morning I woke up and I was in a super good mood. I still am. At worship night, I was thinking about things, and then I had a sort of vision. I was standing in front of a mountain and I was looking aound it. I knew I could just walk aound it, but being the sometimes dumb people we are, I just stood there, continuing to stare at this mountain and the paths I could take to get around it. I knew where this mountain vision fits into my life. It's kind of weird, but I know as long as I keep my focus on Jesus, and not make mistakes I've made in the past, I will be able to move forward to the other side. That's all I got to say on that subject. Amen. Halleluja'r.
I've also come to realize that sometimes I find it hard to love on people. This is because sometimes I see flaws in them that I see in mysel, flaws I don't like, and so it makes it hard to see past that when it comes to other people. I've heard it said that in order to love other people, you have to love yourself. I'm beginning to see the truth in this statement. There are still things I'm working on, thing I'm realizing need to be kept in check and cut out of my life. And I know I can do it with Jesus by my side. But without Him, it's doomed to failure! Yeppers.
Ho voglia di cioccolata. Good night, and good luck. May the peace of the Lord be with you. And also with you. Amen.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Freezing Fingers
Breeerghh. Don't ask. Haha. I feel ready to explode. I don't know how long I can hold this in. I'm surprised I've held out for as long as I have. I've been having battles in my mind and although me and God are winning, I don't know how long I can last before giving in. I need to talk to someone, but I'm too afraid to, which is weird, because it's not really anything to be ashamed of. Satan is just trying to keep this area of my life dark and desolate, and I need to let God shine His light on it. Get behind thee, Satan!
This has nothing to do with my vagueness above, but last night, CT came to BASIC. Afterward, Kyle came up to me and talked about how when they were speaking, he thought of me and how my face lights up whenever I talk about Hong or Jing or Chen Shen. He encouraged me to go talk to the CT people. I didn't because I didn't think I was called to China, but now I'm kind of second guessing that. I guess what I'm trying to say is I have no idea where I'm going for missions, but I do know I want to go. I think I want to try a shorter missinon trip first to kind of test out the water, ya know?
Ready...set...KABOOM!
This has nothing to do with my vagueness above, but last night, CT came to BASIC. Afterward, Kyle came up to me and talked about how when they were speaking, he thought of me and how my face lights up whenever I talk about Hong or Jing or Chen Shen. He encouraged me to go talk to the CT people. I didn't because I didn't think I was called to China, but now I'm kind of second guessing that. I guess what I'm trying to say is I have no idea where I'm going for missions, but I do know I want to go. I think I want to try a shorter missinon trip first to kind of test out the water, ya know?
Ready...set...KABOOM!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
BASIC Conference Fall 2010...and the after effects
As I think all of you know, this past weekend was the BASIC Conference! Honestly, I wasn't very excited about it until we were on the road there. The hotel was so nice! I can't wait to go back there in the spring. Tonight at BASIC, we are going to be sharing our testimonies about what God did in our lives this past weekend. I've been thinking a lot about this. I have to say, he didn't really do any one specific thing, it was all little things in a way.
For example, I've had this desire to do missions work overseas somewhere, and Saturday night, during the missions alter call, I just felt God breaking my heart for the lost, not only here in the U.S, but in foreign countries as well. He made that desire within me so much stronger. I really want to be able to go to NYC during winter break, but with taking one, possibly two winter classes and working, I don't think it is going to happen :-/ I also want to try out a short term missions trip to see if I like it before committing to something long term.
Also, Friday night, Ron Luce talked about cleaning out our junkyard and finding restoration through God. I have so much junk (and I'm not talking about my trunk! :-P) that I've acknowledged but never really actually tried getting rid of. But now, I have been more encouraged to do so. One thing God placed in me is a better sense of self-worth and confidence.
For the past couple weeks, I felt so unworthy of not only His love, but unworthy of love from friends and family. I felt as if I didn't deserve to have friends. I felt ugly, inside and out. *Cue Monster by Skillet* haha. But God tore those feelings down this weekend. Those thoughts had led me toward a couple different paths. It was like there was three in front of me, and instead of choosing the one Jesus was on, I was tempted to try going down one of the other two, and sometimes both. I'm glad I didn't!
I have also learned I need to learn to love people and see them through God's eyes because sometimes I have a hard time doing that, with saved and unsaved people alike. I think with this love comes patience. Some people require us to have more patience with them than other people. When we are patient, it helps us to better focus on the good qualities of that person and not just the negative. I also really really want to try Toby's 20/20 Reading Plan. I should start that tonight! No, not I should, I WILL! When he was talking about it and stuff, I got really excited about reading the Word again, I don't want ot see it as a chore. I want to learn and grow from the words God has written.
And then there was last night. It was INTENSE! It was a blessing to be able to share that night with B-Luke. I will conitnuously be praying for him to not fall back into what he's been struggling with. It really struck a chord within me, being there and being able to take part in it. I think it will be a very memorable night for all of us, especially him. You could tell it was hard for him to make that confession and by doing so, he humbled himself and made himself so vulnerable. I couldn't hold back the tears. I pray Jesus remains victorious in his life. Our God is greater, our God is stronger! So yeah. God has been continuously amazing and surprising me everyday. Woot woot!
P.S. I am in love....with my Ipod touch :-D
For example, I've had this desire to do missions work overseas somewhere, and Saturday night, during the missions alter call, I just felt God breaking my heart for the lost, not only here in the U.S, but in foreign countries as well. He made that desire within me so much stronger. I really want to be able to go to NYC during winter break, but with taking one, possibly two winter classes and working, I don't think it is going to happen :-/ I also want to try out a short term missions trip to see if I like it before committing to something long term.
Also, Friday night, Ron Luce talked about cleaning out our junkyard and finding restoration through God. I have so much junk (and I'm not talking about my trunk! :-P) that I've acknowledged but never really actually tried getting rid of. But now, I have been more encouraged to do so. One thing God placed in me is a better sense of self-worth and confidence.
For the past couple weeks, I felt so unworthy of not only His love, but unworthy of love from friends and family. I felt as if I didn't deserve to have friends. I felt ugly, inside and out. *Cue Monster by Skillet* haha. But God tore those feelings down this weekend. Those thoughts had led me toward a couple different paths. It was like there was three in front of me, and instead of choosing the one Jesus was on, I was tempted to try going down one of the other two, and sometimes both. I'm glad I didn't!
I have also learned I need to learn to love people and see them through God's eyes because sometimes I have a hard time doing that, with saved and unsaved people alike. I think with this love comes patience. Some people require us to have more patience with them than other people. When we are patient, it helps us to better focus on the good qualities of that person and not just the negative. I also really really want to try Toby's 20/20 Reading Plan. I should start that tonight! No, not I should, I WILL! When he was talking about it and stuff, I got really excited about reading the Word again, I don't want ot see it as a chore. I want to learn and grow from the words God has written.
And then there was last night. It was INTENSE! It was a blessing to be able to share that night with B-Luke. I will conitnuously be praying for him to not fall back into what he's been struggling with. It really struck a chord within me, being there and being able to take part in it. I think it will be a very memorable night for all of us, especially him. You could tell it was hard for him to make that confession and by doing so, he humbled himself and made himself so vulnerable. I couldn't hold back the tears. I pray Jesus remains victorious in his life. Our God is greater, our God is stronger! So yeah. God has been continuously amazing and surprising me everyday. Woot woot!
P.S. I am in love....with my Ipod touch :-D
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