Chickenfest

I hate the "reputation" I have. The one where I am known to tell everyone about everything. I know I do tend to talk a lot, but not as much as people think. I do know I have to change this though. The song that comes to mind for me is "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been." I hate that this is the way people have come to view me. I mean, how can I expect anyone to trust me if they think I'm just going to go and gossip about them? Can't say I blame 'em. Another part of this reputation is that I'm always sleeping or look like I'm sleeping or whatever. This isn't the case at all. Friday night, I was getting a tad annoyed because people kept telling me to wake up. At Bible Study, it was the same. Just because I wasn't very talkative didn't mean I was sleeping and I hate that that's the first thing peole assume. I had a lot on my mind and didn't feel like contributing to the conversation.

I feel drawn to Natalie. I can't explain it. I just feel this need to sort of protect her and make sure she feels welcome in our group. Honestly, I feel kind of big sisterly toward her. It's interesting. I pray she can find her way to God again and never leave His side.

Tomorrow, my youngest sister turns 14. I remember when we were both younger and in the morning, it would be my job to get her up and dressed for school. It's crazy to think that next year she is going to be in high school!

Okey dokey. Less procrastinating, more homework doing.

Enchanted

This V-Day was interesting for me, to say the least. "Maybe it was wishful thinkin', probably mindless dreamin'." Yeah.

Today, we handed out Jesus Grams in the Campus Center. It was really cool. I was there during a slow time, so I didn't get to interact with as many people as others. But that's okay. It was kind of saddening to see everyone walking by, not paying attention to what was going on around them. They were like robots. Too focused on their phones or Ipods to really care about what was happening outside of their technological world. Is this how "society" wants the younger generations to live life? I certainly hope not, and I certainly don't want to live that way.

There seems to be quite a few people whose families are being touched by the Lord. It's so exciting!!!! I kind of get envious. Why can't that happen with my family already? I know everything happens on God's time, but it's still a little frustrating.

There is so much stuff inside me. Stuff I keep locked up, because I'd rather no one else see any of it. Just things we are dealing with, me and God. Lately, he has convicted me so much about one thing that I really need to keep in check. Something that I need to work on, because if I don't, I fear losing friendships with people. Friendships I hold dear to me. Maybe I should just carry a roll of duct tape around with me, if you catch my drift.

The end.

Midnight Wanderings

For some reason, I thought with a new semester, a new year, things would change. Silly me. Nothing has. I don't know why I'm not used to this by now. I should be. I'm not. Is it jealousy? I don't want to think so. I think it's just annoyance. It seems like everyone had fun tonight. I'm kinda sad and slightly jealous that I missed out because I had to work stupid latenight. It almost feels as if everyone is bragging. I know they're not and I'm dumb for thinking it, but this is what I'm feelin' at the moment. Take it or leave it.

My stomach has been on the fritz today. It's been so weird and all over the place, hungry, full, nauseated, weird. I don't really think I have anything else I want to add, but I hate to leave this so short. Me and Lisa have a small date tomorrow afternoon, at the Tea Company. This has been a LONG time coming, let me tell you!

I'm eating leftover Wonton House. I wish I knew what I was doing next year, housing wise, and after I graduate. Something I just cannot fathom right now.

Yeah. So there ya have it.