I'm back in Oswego after being home for a week. It was really nice being home. There was one point where me and my mom kinda argued, but it didn't last long. They asked me what I wanted to do when I graduated. THat question never gets old, haha. I told them all I really wanted to do was missions. They want me to check out the Americorps because they will be able to help me pay off student loans. I don't think they realize I don't want to get paid doing God's work. I just want to give it all up and follow Him wherever He wants me to go. They just don't want me to have to rely on other people to support me in doing missions. I know they just love me and want the best for me, which is understandable. My dad said last night, he's always telling my mom how much he misses me. My mom knows I don't have much food here at the apartment, so she sent me back with some fruit and granola bars and sausage and bacon and a cake mix and some of those Pasta Sides things. Bless her heart.
Yesterday was Christmas, for those who didn't know :-P My siblings and I didn't get a lot because of financial problems. But it was perfectly fine with me. I honestly didn't care about the presents. I appreciate them, don't get me wrong, but if I hadn't gotten any, I would have been perfectly okay with it. Christmas just isn't the same for me anymore. Sure, it might be because I am older and wiser, haha, but I don't think that's it. I'm just not satisfied with it, and I want it to be much more meaningful for me and my family. I mean, it is meaningful, but I want it to be more special. I don't know.
I'm here by myself right now. I don't mind it at the moment, but I know later on, when I get tired of the silence, it's going to be a little harder. I'll probably start talking to myself, haha. Not really. I got my Itunes going, so I think I'll be okay. And if worst comes to worst, I'll just talk to God :) He's sure to listen!
As I go through older blog posts, I see how much I have changed and matured. Well, I think I have, haha. Honestly though, it's ahrd to believe that it was ME who wrote those posts. Sometimes I ask myself, "Who was that person??" There are things I've written that I don't think I would write today. There are emotions that would drive me to write a post, but not anymore. Anger was a big one. I've realized it's not good for me to write a blog post when I'm angry. Maybe if it's rightous anger, yes. Like anger towards Satan or something, but if it's anger towards a person, it's best for me to not write it here. Censorship saves lives! Actually, no. It just sounded fun to say :-D
Tomorrow, I am going grocery shopping. I have $55 worth of Walmart gift cards. Shopping spree! Today, though, I relax and do nothing except unpack and shower. Fun stuff!
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