Inspired

Man, I don't even know what day of the week it is. I gotta do somethin, instead of just sitting around watching YouTube all day.

I made a really dumb and rash decision about a week ago. I told Jon Burgio I wasn't going to NYC because I couldn't get all the money to him on time. But then, through encouragement and not feeling at peace with my choice, I emailed him again that same night and told him I still wanted to go, haha. And then things fell into place. I now know I have definitely collected enough support money to go. I'm really nervous. And excited. Between you and me, my fear was one of the reasons I was not going to go. Silly me, doubting God's provision. Something that really hit me was the fact that even though I doubted Him, He still provided a way for me to go financially. Even though I made a mistake, He still kept His promise to provide. Amazing, huh? Another thing that touched me was the fact that when I told my mom I wasn't going to go anymore, she got angry with me and then after I changed my mind back, she told me I had reacted too quickly, and I should have been patient in the first place instead of jumping the gun.

Every holiday (Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter) my uncle Tom used to say grace before our meal. Well, since he and my aunt recently got divorced, he hasn't been around for holidays. So for thanksgiving, my dad said grace, and then for Christmas, my mom asked me to. I felt honored and touched. And then after the meal, my dad told me I did a nice job and thanked me. :)

I have to say, looking back, this hasn't exactly been the best year for anyone in my family. It's been rough, and I know they are all hoping for a better and healthier year in 2012. My grandpa kept telling people that all he had wanted for Christmas was a new kidney, because his are failing and he has to go to dialysis 3 times a week. Not fun. But me, I just pray for them to put all their trust and fears in Jesus and find their strength and comfort in Him. It's not enough for them to talk the talk, they have to learn to walk the walk.

I've learned a lot this past year, about myself, and others, and God, and life, and none of it from my classes. I definitely think you learn the most through your own personal experiences.

I've experienced genuine appreciation, so I appreciate people more. I've experienced kindness, so I try my best to be more kind. I've experienced forgiveness, so I forgive easily. I've experienced true friendship, so I've learned how to be a better friend. I've experienced unity and disunity, so I've learned how important it is to remain unified. I've experienced selflessness, honesty, love, familial brokenness, joy, good food, bad food, selfishness, great pastors, jealousy, self-consciousness, self-doubt, confidence others have in me, happiness, I could go on and on. And everything I have experienced has shaped who I am, and I look forward to experiencing so much more this next year, and I pray that I can learn something from everything I experience, something that will bring me one step closer to being the person I want to be.