Across This New Divide

I absolutely love that song, New Divide, its amazing!! I really want to see Transformers 2. And HP 6. So I called my dad last night, after not talking to him for 2 weeks. I didn't realize it had been such a burden on my heart. I guess what made me realize how horrible I've been was when my mom told me through my sister's AIM that my dad was hurt and he felt like he was losing me. That just tore me apart inside. I apologized and since we don't really have the kind of relationship where we talk about our feelings, we just kind of picked up where we left off. Then I talked to my mom, and I started crying and she asked me why, and I said because I'm mad at myself for being so hurtful. And then it went on from there. Afterward, I felt so light and free and overjoyed. I love God. I just watched this youtue video called haven-9/11 remix, so so sad. I cried. Like tears were pouring out of my eyes. then I watched Lady Gaga's Paparazzi video, so BAD! Love the song, hate the video. Ok, I woud like to take a minute to remember all the victims of 9/11, those who lost their lives and their loved ones. I was in 7th grade, in my technology class and my teacher walked in late and told us the World Trade Center had been hit by planes. I honestly had no idea what it was or anything. I jsut remember going home and my parents weren't home, they were at a dr appt, my sister turned on the news and we just sat there watching it, even though I really had no idea what was going on.

Sometimes I wish people would trust me. When something's wrong with someone I try to make it known I'm here if they wanna talk. But hardly anyone ever does. why? I know I've made my mistakes, but I've learned from them. So, guys, I'm here if you just want someone to listen. I don't even know why I'm saying this because I know many of you will ignore it. Oh well. I'll always be here for ALL f my friends, every single one of you, k?

Ok, there's a bonfire tonight, so excited. Next friday, there's going to be a movie night. With two movies I'm not really interested in watching. I'm glad there's all these planned events going on but I like spontaneity, just doing something on a whim, like last weekend. I love those kinds of weekends.

I was just thinking, I don't have any best friends. I have close friends, but no best friend, kinda makes me want one. Haha. Whatever, just something I was thinking about. Another thing, there's been something on my heart I really feel God telling me to talk to someone about but I am so scared. Scared that whoever I tell will look down on me and hate me. I came across a quote somewhere that says, "Your greatest rewards lie in your greatest fears." So true and yet, I'm afraid to do what I should. *Sigh*

Enough rambling. I have a lunch date with Shannon, I'm excited, I'm especially fond of her ;-)