It's been a weird night. For those of you who don't know, my grandpa is in Syracuse hospital. He has an infection attacking his vital organs such as his kidneys and lungs. It has also been attacking his heart. The doctors wanted to do some procedure, but they said if they do, he won't make it through. And if they give him the medicines he needs, his heart and lungs wont be able to handle it. So no one really knows what to do at the moment. They say he's doing slightly better though, so they may send him home within the next couple days. It just hit me tonight just how serious it all is, and it breaks my heart. I worry for my family, it's been an emotional rollercoaster for them. See, I have Jesus to help me. They don't. I'm hoping to use this as an opportunity though. People ask me what's wrong and I feel like if I try explaining it, I'll burst into tears. I came really close earlier in Kdee's room. I just left Scales because I just didn't feel like I bleonged there at the moment. Mainly because everyone was so happy and giggly and I wasn't. The moment I walked out Bridge and Lisa's room and started walking down the hallway, the tears started falling. And they haven't stopped. I'm not writing this to get sympathy. I'm writing it because I need to. I can't do it on Facebook through a status, wayyyy too much. So I chose here.
Does anyone have an extra hug? Because I could certainly use one. I just want someone to tell me it's going to be ok. It has to be ok. I don't want to be around people, but I don't want to be alone. My Skype date with Simone cheered me up a little. I love that Aussie. I need to go to bed. I have to be up at 8. Yuck. Anyway, I'm sorry you had to read this. I know it's not exactly cheerful, but I needed to write it.
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