You know how Satan uses our own weaknesses against us? He's been doing this alot lately in my life. Through my family. I know he's using them to try to ruin my relationship with them. I will NOT back down. The word vomit that spews from their mouths is that of Satan, not them. I only wish I knew how to handle it better. I'm used to this but it still hurts. Bad. I am constantly on the verge of tears. Sorry just doesn't seem to be good enough anymore, but what is I have no idea. I love my family so much, thats why it hurts when we get into these kinds of arguments. Why do we hurt the ones we love the most? I have yet to figure it out, maybe because we know they'll forgive us? It still doesn't make it right though. I don't do it on purpose, I don't even realize I've hurt them until they say something. Most of the time, I don't even know what I've done wrong. Do you ever think about how easy it would be to just give all of this up and forget the person God's made you to be? To just throw the towel in when things get rough. How foolish it would be though. And cowardly. I have to remain strong, I have to. I see the light inside me. it's tiny, a candle flame, I will keep going until it's burning brighter than a 10 million candles.
I'm tired of being the pursuer, I just want to be the pursuee, if thats even a word. Like I care, haha. Maybe it's someone else's turn to do the talking. Well, I have an essay on how Wheatley's poetry challenges/reinforces patriarchy and gender constructions abound in her works to go write. Adios.
No comments:
Post a Comment