Numb

I absolutely love Linkin Park's "Numb." Fits me at the moment. I'm sorry if this sounds like oyur post, it's not meant to. I just feel empty, void of any true feeling. Like whatever happiness I feel is merely surface deep. The only other time I feel is when my heart starts aching for my dad and how badly he needs Jesus. I get so sad, sadder than I've ever felt for anyone. I absolutely love the DiPierro's. Anthony always knows just what to say, it's like he knows every person's individual prayer needs. So cool. I also loved it when Lisa moved up next to me and prayed for me. She was crying more than I was. It really meant a lot to me and touched my heart. I love her so much. When that kid came up and he started crying at the end, I just wanted to run up and hug him. I guess it's just my nature, when I see someone crying, I feel this need to hug them. I dunno why. Interesting.

I just want to feel special, like I've made a difference in someone's life. I just want someone to be like, "That Deanna girl, she's got this and this going for her." I just want to feel important. I don't want to be forgotten. It seems like everyone has someone and I have no one. I'm talkin mainly friendships here. Idk. Blargh.

There was one more thing I was going to say. I forgot. Oh, I remembered! I am really beginning to dislike myself. I'm stuck in this rut and don't seem to have a strong enough desire to get out. I hate it. And yet, I just stand here, telling myself what I should do, telling other people what they should do and not actually do it myself. I feel hypocritical. Anywho. I have a paper to write about the importance of family in a child's life. Toodles.